Saturday, March 5, 2016

"...We're Dead Serious, Man....You've Got Just Ten More Chances To Knock It Off...."

Donald promises to "make America great again".

Hillary has let it be known that "America never stopped being great" and vows to "make America whole again".

Here's a thing.

Neither Donald nor Hillary have what it takes to make either one of those things happen.

Because they are staggeringly outnumbered by the opposition.

Hold that thought.

We'll come back to it.

America is a catchphrase culture.

Always has been.

They're used to sell product.

Advertising slogans like Ivory Soap's "99 44/100 % pure" which came along in 1891, up to and through the arrival of "letting our fingers do the walking" through the Yellow Pages to extolling the virtues of Disney World being "the happiest place on Earth" to the recent re-arrival of the extra crispy clarion call announcing that chicken is "finger licking good (although even since childhood, I could never quite get on board with rating the flavor enjoyment of something based on how much I licked my fingers, if only because, I don't know about you, but I totally know where my hands have been).

They're used to sell candidates for office.

Campaign slogans like Lincoln's second term pitch, "Don't Change Horses In Mid Stream"; FDR's 1932 proclamation that "Happy Days Are Here Again"; "I Like Ike", "All The Way With LBJ", Ronald Reagan alarm clocking us "It's Morning Again In America" (which, frankly, always came off a little ominous, what with the implication that people actually needed to be told what time of day it was).

And, of course, the current crop including the aforementioned America great /whole business but also "Feel The Bern" and Senator Cruz' very clever "Trusted" (Trust...ted....get it?).

Here's a catch phrase that no one has used officially in recent years, if at all, but seems to pop up a lot in print and on air as a rallying cry coming from those who want to conjure up a big wave of patriotic passion in the hopes said wave will wash them, or their particular fair haired choice of savior, right into the office they seek.

"Take Our Country Back".

And, of course, any and all variations of that one that might be applicable or more grammatically adjusted to meet a particular need.

"Taking Our Country Back"

"Let's Take Our Country Back".

"Let's Take Our Country Back Together".

Frankly, I'm a little surprised that the hot shots who package and brand their respective campaigns haven't found a way to wave that one onto the existing bumper stickers.

"Let's Make America Great Again By Taking Our Country Back"

And, of course...

"America Is Already Great, Let's Take Our Country Back And Make It Whole Again".

Come to think of it...nahh...never mind.

Judging from the popularity of reality TV, American Dad, anything that Nicki Minaj records and/or any and/or all seven of the motion pictures that are not only fast, but furious, it's pretty obvious that the contemporary American attention span dictates that campaign slogans be kept to five or less words.

Having spent a lot of time in recent weeks and months sizing up the number of potential Rhodes Scholars in the Trump following, I'm pretty confident that even going with the five word golf cap logo there was flirting with comprehension overload.

A landscape barren of Mensa members aside, that particular slogan grinds my personal pepper.

And, as automatically as "who's there?" follows any utterance of the phrase "knock, knock" whether or not there's a punchline coming down the pike, I find myself, just as automatically, be it out loud or only in my head, responding to "take our country back" with....

...from who, exactly?

There's a pretty big hole in the logic attempted by any, and every, one in this country, regardless of political affiliation, religious persuasion and/or philosophical preference when they mount up, or mouth off, and verbally try to rally the troops and lead the charge toward revolution with that dramatic, but ultimately deceptive, slogan.

It assumes that "our country" or at least the day to day operation of it has been hijacked by some evil force or oppressive regime or power beyond our ability to control and/or conquer.

The simple and, yet, overlooked truth is, though, that the "them" that those who dramatically want to take the country back from is.....wait for it....

...us.

And by us, I'm talking all of us.

Americans.

The Americans who put into office, freely and under no duress whatsoever, the representatives and Senators and ,yes, the President that operate the government under the guidelines, directions and laws that the Founders constructed for us.

Nothing that is happening in this nation at any given moment is happening because we went to sleep as a republic of freedoms and woke up the next morning to find that republic had been overthrown in the dead of night by some dictator and his band of rebel followers, pouring down out of the mountains while we slumbered and taking over.

And, all due respect ("...and Mr. Dennit, I said with all due respect...") spare me the knee jerk flapping of the gums that comes in the form of such supposedly patriotic, but, in fact, primarily moronic outbursts as "...oh, yeah?.....what about that dictator Obama?....", for example, etc, ad nauseum, e pluribus unum.

Personal distaste, disagreement and, even, high blood pressure hatred of one President or another doesn't qualify as evidence, let alone, proof that the Constitution isn't alive, well and operating on all cylinders as it has for nearly 250 years.

One man's loathed leader is another man's captain courageous and all that.

And, like it or not, the Constitution isn't at all like a Sheldon Cooper roommate agreement, tailored to benefit you and your insistence upon French Toast on Monday and that no one, but no one, sit in your spot.

Meanwhile, if you need additional assistance in dialing down the demagoguery and lightening up on your alleged loss of liberties, try these on for size.

What right or freedom guaranteed to you by that very Constitution do you not have right at this moment that you had yesterday?

Did they come and take your guns away from you?

Oh.

No, huh?

How about your right to bluster, brag, bloviate and/or blowhard, all courtesy of that zesty little freedom of speech thing? Have you been muzzled? Muffled? Duct taped over and around the pie hole area?

Oh.

No, huh?

Well, again with all due respect, then, here's a suggestion that you're legally within your Constitutional rights to ignore, but, a lot of us would appreciate if you would consider agreeing to.

Shut up.

And for a few moments, consider this.

The America that we're living in right now, this day, this moment, is the America that we have created for ourselves. It is not the Nazi Germany of the 1930's, it is not the Uganda of the 1970's, it is not the Cuba of the, well, it's not Cuba.

No tanks are rolling in the streets, on the lookout for dissension, ready to crush it instantly and completely. No members of the Politburo are searching high and low for members of the underground, prepared to stamp out any and all resistance without hesitation or mercy.

And no one....absolutely no one.....has taken our country away from us.

The Republic still stands.

There is, in fact, no one from whom we need to take our country back.

The fault, dear Brutus, and Mrs. Brutus, lies not in our leaders...but in ourselves.

And in our selfishness and apathy and arrogance. In our unwillingness to pitch in and do what we need to make the system work as it was designed for us and, instead, ordering Papa John's, popping a top, flipping on the flat screen and enjoying four quarters while bitching and moaning and posting about how it ain't workin' for us.

And in our habit of hating Congress....but loving our own Congressmen to the tune of a re-elect the incumbent rate in this country of 96%.

That's right.

96%.

And only two Presidents since Hoover have been denied election to a second term.

Traditionally (read: since time immemorial) those who go after the gig which requires them to solemnly swear go after it by doing their heavy spendin', rhetoric ramblin', patriotic appealin', God bless America-in' best to convince the masses to swallow their particular recipe for running and/or saving the country.

The masses, by the way, that have their own unique and oft heard catch phrase-y label.

"...the American people...."

The American people who bitch about "the government" and "Congress" and " INSERT NAME OF PRESIDENT HERE" as if those bodies and/or that body were some worthless black sheep brother in the family who just showed up one night, planted himself on the couch and proceeded to eat and drink everything in sight while running up triple digit family budget deficits by ordering every single item listed on the Pay Per View channels and not the worthless black sheep brother who was invited in, told to make himself comfortable and, worst of all, re-invited to come in.

Over and over and over again.

Much like the way those politicians get treated. That Congress with the 10% approval rating and 96% re-election rate.

That incompetent bunch that is invited to come in.

Over and over and over again.

And the Presidents who have been elected over and over.....

and only the 22nd Amendment prevents over and over and over and over.

Donald promises to "make America great again".

Hillary has let it be known that "America never stopped being great" and vows to "make America whole again".

Here's the thing.

Neither Donald nor Hillary have what it takes to make either one of those things happen.

Because they are staggeringly outnumbered by the opposition.

That opposition known as "the people."

We.....

...the people.













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