The Answer, My Friend, Is Likely To Take A While...

Jean-Luc Picard would probably be disappointed in me these days.

I pretty much refuse to engage any more.

Or, at least, for the time being.

And by engage, I mean reply, respond or, more often than not, even acknowledge remarks made in the comment threads of the various social media pages I either publish, or just frequent, when said remarks come from the disagreeing side of the dialogue demarcation line.

And not just because those remarks are almost always, and let's just get the overused, not so funny anymore hardy har har out of the way, not just disagreeing but disagreeable.

But,mostly, because, for mostly most of my life to date, I haven't tugged on Superman's cape, I haven't spit into the wind, I haven't pulled the mask off the ol' Lone Ranger....and I haven't spent any time banging my head against brick walls that have no intention of budging.

Even when the disagreeable disagreeing is, by any reasonable measure, ridiculous and my instinct is to keep insisting that the disagree-er could see that , if only they would see their way clear to hearing, honestly listening and giving it a reasonable amount of consideration.


As a variety of authority figures throughout my life have admonished me, I should know better by now.

Or as the aforementioned disappointed Admiral Picard would remind me.....

Insistence is futile.

Still, as with chocolate, Dwayne Johnson movies and that "last golf club you'll ever need to buy", temptation is always alive and well..... ever urging an indulgence of the urge to volley back the debate birdie, the ever present hope also alive and well that this time, this back and forth, this push and pull will result in common sense winning the discussion, not to mention the day.

Props to our home girl, Emily Dickinson, "hope is", meanwhile, still "a thing with feathers...that perches in the soul."

All of that said, never let it be said that I'm any more than mere mortal. And, accordingly, inclined to spit out, rather than bite, the bullet and give that birdie a bitchin bash.

Game point coming up.

Donald went to London recently for a NATO meeting. Between snarky tweets, foot in mouth commentary and the garden variety white trash in an expensive, tailored suit approach to global leadership, it was business as usual for America's leader-in-waiting (as in, he was elected to be a leader, the lion's share of us are still waiting).

Oh...and there was that zany video of several of the other world leaders having a private chit chat prior to an official meeting in which they were, without naming names, naming one other leader as the resident buffoon in the bunch.

By the way, not for nothin', but "accidentally overheard mocking and ridiculing...". These are intelligent, savvy young men. In this little ongoing situation comedy, there is no such thing as "accidentally". Score one for a well executed play from the Aaron Sorkin playbook. (check out the "the red light on the camera was on" episode of "The West Wing").

Meanwhile, after Trump's return to the land of Washington State apples, Georgia peaches and House impeachment, Joe Biden posted some pointed put downs, pointedly proffering that Donald being a laughing stock wasn't exactly raising America's stock in the eyes of the world.

Motivated by Joe's point of view, I offered my own, via the ol Facebook.


".....Biden is carpe diem-ing the "global ridicule" angle in the latest ad(s).....

theoretically, the ridicule of the other world leaders is damaging to Trump, but....

....it's important to keep in mind that the key votes in the Midwest, et al, that gave Trump the Electoral College came, in large measure, from people who don't really care about (or, for that matter, even understand) "global issues".....

their "world" is the three to five feet in front of their faces at any given time......

and while we all, in fact, "inhabit the planet", there is a sizable population of America that could give a shit less about what France or Germany or even Canada thinks......and will, in a heartbeat, vote for Trump again if they think he will keep (get) them safely back to the America of 1955......

even if that "getting back" is all nothing more, absolutely nothing more, than a sad illusion......."

The comment thread responses to my response consisted of the reasonably predictable. My friends, colleagues and/or like minded acquaintances weighed in with a yay thee. And there was one amusing oldie but goodie from someone I don't know.

"Get over it, snoflake"

While I appreciate his taking the time to frame his ignorance in a holiday theme, I was a little off put by, not so much the predictability of that mindset, but the complete and total lack of originality involved.

Dude, the whole "snoflake" thing is, like, so, like ,2017.

Bet you still say things like "groovy" and "far out", too, right?

One comment caught eye and mental ear, though. From a lifelong friend who, we both acknowledge, says tomato when I say tomahto on just about every issue that exists from religion to politics, from Boulder to Birmingham.

And though we don't connect much, all that much, anymore, it was a rare occasion on his part to respond to one of my observations.

Especially one of the political observations.

And it went like this.

"...I think you should form a “Let’s persuade Michelle to run” election committee. Better yet, make it the “Clinton & Osama-Bama retry election forum. Whatever works. I wonder if you’ll ever understand that the WH winner is not in the hands of mere mortals. I would’ve thought someone as insightful as yourself would‘ve figured that out after 2016..."

For the first time in a while, I was more than tempted to reply right there in the ol' FB comment-o-matic. But I realized that what he had inspired me to offer required a little more. If only just a little more space.

This is that space.

And here is a little more in the way of reply.

Season's greetings,  brother from a different mother....the first, always challenging, bump in the road when it comes to online sharing is that "tone" is, often, impossible to gauge. So while it's entirely possible that your entire offering here was articulately performed with a tongue planted firmly in cheek, it's also possible that you were seriously soap boxing me.

I'm gonna go with the tongue and cheek thing. And take, on faith, that you accept that 99% of my say is equally sardonic. Which isn't to say I'm not serious about the what. It's just that it's more fun to be impish with the how.

Your first few words, there, reminded me of the psychology I've researched through the years, in particular, the notion that the first thing we instinctively go with when commenting or responding is our "first responder" mode,  a verbal version of running straight on into the fire without hesitation. The calmer, more measured (read:self censored/edited) stuff follows shortly or even later.

And if that theory is legit, then you help prove a point I've made from time to time (and others, too, I'm insightful, not all knowing and seeing). The implied assumption, on your part, that because I am firmly, oh, hell, passionately, against pretty much everything Donald Trump is, was, stands for and/or ever will be, that I am automatically yearning for the days of Obama and Clinton (and bears, oh, my).

Frankly, I was never all that enamored of Obama's performance. I was, truth in advertising, not happy with a lot of what he did and/or did not accomplish. In a final report card world, I would have given him a B-, maybe a C+. 

But all of that assessment, on my part as a citizen, is based on policy agreement or disagreement. And, in my case, a "filter", as it were, that allows for knowing, through years of self motivated study and self education, reflection, etc, on political and presidential history,  that the job of President of the United States is, while certainly more dramatic, no different than any job in which he or she holding the job is evaluated. 

Cue Danny O' Keefe. 

Some gotta win / some gotta lose.

Put more visually....place five people in a room. Ask each of them what they think about (anything..fill in the blank)....

Two will love it. Two will hate it. And one can take it or leave it.

Paul Stookey had it right, I think, when he wrote "whenever two or more of you / are gathered in His name / there is love".

His lyric, wisely, says absolutely nothing about any agreement in the room.

Again, Obama was no better...and no worse.....than any other president in contemporary times, when his tenure is graded on a curve.

And being that the whole of America is made up of aptitudes ranging from Rhodes Scholar to "we need to talk about little Benjy", the need to grade on a curve is a given.

Meanwhile, none of my "that's a big negatory, good buddy" when it came to the Obama period had anything to do with his personality, his presentation and/or his general character.

My take then, as now, is that he was an intelligent, educated, decent guy. But, more importantly, in hindsight, I realize he was, again, within the acceptable and inevitable parameters we have to include when judging our fellow mere mortals, a class act, respectful of the system as it was created by the, these days, much mentioned Founders and supportive of the foundational institutions that make America what it was designed to be.

Again, and only because of what's coming next, no less....nor more.....than the Bush or the Clinton or the Bush or the Reagan or the Ford or the Johnson , ad nauseum, E pluribus unum........that preceded him in the gig.

And I never, for a single second, felt a flick of fear that I was going to wake up one morning to find that the whole nation had been converted to Islam over night and we were all going to have to do an off off off Broadway production of "The Diary Of Anne Frank-The Muslim Years"

So, I never felt, nor feel, the need to play witty word games using words like "Hussein"...and...wait for it..."Osama".

PS....at this writing, still got all my guns, too.

Meanwhile...Maude?

Yeah, put a pin in that.

And then there's Donald.

I'll spare the recitation here. If curious or unclear on my general posture as regards the host of NBC's hit "reality" show, "The Apprentice", just find one of my blogs, podcasts or vidcasts on the matter.

Pick a blog, podcast, vidcast. Any blog, podcast, vidcast.

As far as the White House not being in the hand of mere mortals......

There's two paths to traverse here.

One involves finding any credibility whatsoever in anything that comes out of Rick Perry's mouth. Either Rick or his partner in prophetic predilection, Michele Bachmann.

That, of course, brings us face first into this Franklin Graham meets Monty Python theatre of the absurd presentation, "He Is The Chosen One"

When every one with a smidge of synaptic function knows damn well that Neo is the chosen one.

Geez.

Path two?

Well, if that's your play, you may be on to something, there, mi compadre'.

That's where we start talkin' bout one of them gods that God takes exception to us having before Him.

Scripturally speaking, of course. 

And the twin brother Megatrons of a nation in the chaos of being "transformed".

 "Oligarchy" and "Plutocracy". 

With each passing day, "Hail To The Chief" gets closer and closer to being excised from the Marine Corps Band playlist, in favor of several more suitable and applicable candidates for the theme song-in chief.

Cyndi Lauper. "Money Changes Everything."

Barrett Strong. "Money (That's What I Want)".

My personal fave?

Randy Newman. "It's Money That Matters."

My favorite because Randy always brings a bit of whimsy and weary cynicism to his artistic interpretations of the human condition.

And what could be more whimsical, not to mention, wearily cynical, than for America to have elected a president who not only represents, but outright champions, the very gaudy, gold plated pillars on which ol' Oli and Pluto are founded?

See, bud, it turns out that, either way, I did, in fact, figure it out after 2016.

Sooner, actually. If you go back and find video/audio of my radio talk show appearances, podcasts, et al, pretty much starting from the moment that Donald descended the gaudy escalator and announced that he was going to show Obama what happens when you make fun of Donald at White House Correspondent Dinners.

Well, shit, he shore did show him, din't he?

Not to mention the rest of us.

That pretty much sums it up, my friend.

Oh....and the very last thing I want to see is Michele running.

She, too, struck, and strikes, me as a decent and classy person.

And the last thing in the world she deserves is to be put in charge of a country where four out of ten people, at any given moment, think a slick, real estate hustling, snake oil peddlin' sociopathic narcissist comes with ten kabillion miles of what the, these days, much mentioned Founders had in mind when they gave birth to Article II.

It's one of those Groucho Marx "be in any club that would have me as a member" kind of thing.

Love and best to the family.

And thanks be to Donald John, of course, for the freedom with which he has blessed me, after so many years of oppression, to wish you all.....

Merry Christmas.

Hey, You Look Like Death Warmed Over...But, Good News, The Dow Is In The Pink...Well, Black, Actually

Today's edition of saying the things that go without saying...

• An American student held captive in Iran since 2016 has been released in a prisoner swap....the family is, obviously, elated....and celebrations, obviously, underway for yet another world record set: personal best, to date, time between event and appearance of the Donald Taking Credit Tweet......goes without saying that America is going to see a whole lot of these "hey, that's really good to hear" things between now and November.......it's all part of the psychology in play in other life situations....like the essentially worthless employee who somehow starts razzle dazzling just prior to yearly review time.....like the wife beater who suddenly gets all kind and lovey dovey when actually being thrown in jail teeters on the precipice between possibility and probability...... 

• An op/ed written by a noted news analyst, decidedly at home on the left side of the peanut gallery opines that Trump currently has an "obvious path to a second term". The impetus for the impending inevitability?......Unemployment at a 50 year low. And with it, the perception that, economically speaking, happy days are not only here again, but the sky above is clear again......goes without saying that a society basing its overall health strictly on the basis of its economy is putting all of its eggs, not to mention future existence, in one basket.....who needs morality, inspirational leadership, a visionary reaching out to other nations, the global equivalent of next door neighbors,  a concerted effort to reduce hatred, bigotry and all those other pesky human failings when the Dow is looking good?....just ask any homeless vet....or Mr. Bernstein in "Citizen Kane"....."no trick to making a lot of money....if all you want to do is make a lot of money..."

• A couple of Democratic Congressmen have let it be known that they will not be voting "aye" on any of the articles of impeachment that are presented when the House votes. New Jersey's Jeff Van Drew, one of the two, says that impeachment is "tearing the nation apart...and I want to bring people together".....He goes on to offer that everyone's goal should be to "move on"....goes without saying that "moving on" from cancer without removing the cancer is really nothing more than simply "walking away"......and given the overwhelming amount of willingness the Trumpists have shown to work together with all parties for the common good of everyone, walking away is, at best, a guarantee of future failure...and, at worst, well, stupid comes to mind.....

• And lastly, but not leastly,  we jingled the Salvation Army bell pretty good on this little holiday nugget during this past week's webisode of "The Blab", but it simultaneously goes without saying while it bears repeating that there is no "War On Christmas"....the war on common sense, meanwhile, enters its fourth wearying year.....and, forgive the holiday buzzkill, things aren't looking good for the commonsensicans......pray, Zuzu, pray very hard......and Merry Christmas to all.....

Doctors...And Presidents....First, Do No Harm....

Holiday time.

Rush, rush, busy, busy.

No time for reading the complete descriptions of every Christmas movie on your flat-screen channel guide, let alone wordy diatribes addressing the American political landscape.


So, here's a little something to chew on instead of whatever sugar is lurking in every nook and cranny of your life for the next four or five weeks.

It's just a little pill of opinion.

Be it easy, or bitter, to swallow.

A lot of us, a whole lot of us, have spent several years now in emotional, if not outright verbal, conflict with one another regarding the current, either momentary or eternal, occupant of the Oval Office.    

But, put a pin in that.

Here's the pill.

Most of us, if not all of us, we, the people, as it were, have been getting it wrong for a long time.

If not every day of our lives.

We have functioned with eyes glazed over from the fog of fantasy that what we are electing, when we elect a President, is someone who will have us climbing every mountain, fording every stream, following every rainbow as he (and someday, no matter what a lot of you think, hope and pray for, she) and we work together to find our dreams and see them come true.

Allow me to quote your current Oval Office occupant and one of his more eloquent observations shared many times during the 2016 campaign.

Wrong.

All of that mountain climbing, stream fording, rainbow following, dream finding portion of the program (cue appropriate angelic, inspiring, hope filled harp music) is certainly something we don't want to see go away and, of course, something that we would very much like to see in the he (or someday, no matter what a lot of you think, hope and pray for, she) that we grant the privilege of swearing to faithfully execute the office.

But it's way past time to get our minds right on exactly where in the national "qualifications for keys to 1600 Pennsylvania" list that wad of wonderfulness belongs.

Number two, at best.

And it's way past time for a new number one at the top of the charts, cats and kitties, a little something that's been bubbling under far too long and has, finally, inevitably, in fact, hooked us all on the horns of one big damn dilemma.

With a capital D and that stands for, well, D and...that....stands for demagogue.

Number one on the "you must be this tall to ride this ride" list of Presidential qualities, virtues, traits and/or abilities.

The deceptively difficult skill required to keep the cork in the goddamn bottle.

Clarity and conclusion coming up.

Time for this week's episode of "Metaphor Theater".

America, in our marvelous metaphor this week, is a living, breathing body.

A living, breathing body with a heart and a bloodstream feeding that heart, and a brain and a bloodstream feeding that brain and lungs to keep the body vigorous and healthy and a bloodstream feeding those lungs to keep them functioning and healthy.

I'll spare you the item by item metaphoricals here and just clue you that the cells in that bloodstream represent the good, decent, loving, caring, kind, compassionate qualities that exist in many, oh, what the hell, it's Christmas, most of the people that make up the population that make up the civilized society each of us refers to as "my country".

As in 'tis of thee'.

And 'sweet land of liberty'.

And, big finish, that letting freedom ring thing.

But, just like a living, breathing body, America is also inhabited by toxins, poisons, potentially harmful, in extreme cases fatal, some natural, if unwelcome, by-products of the daily functioning of the body, many, oh, what the hell, it's Christmas, most primarily self inflicted. Too much sugar, too much fat, too much cholesterol, that can kill ya like that.

Again, for the metaphor challenged, the toxins and poisons represent bigotry, racism, sexism, white supremacy and your lesser dramatic but equally dangerous garden variety infectious invaders like selfishness, pettiness, vindictiveness.

And another "ism" I forgot to mention. One that is to the American bloodstream of the 21st Century what polio was to the nervous system of the 20th Century.

Narcissism.

And the really insidious thing about all those "isms" and "nesses"........

Just like the toxins, poisons and potentially fatal infections that live, literally,  for the opportunity to do damage to the healthy human body, all of the worst of humanity, each of the aforementioned "isms" and "nesses" aren't going away any time soon.

Props and due respect to all those who work tirelessly to change the world.....as well as those who imagine all the people living lives in peace, those poisons have been a part of the human experience since the garden.

So, it's not buzzkill pessimism, but, rather, sensible fact facing to acknowledge their existence.

And, ideally, to do everything we can do to keep those poisons, if not conquered, then, at the very least, contained so that they can do as little harm as possible.

This week's metaphor bonus.

Think of a healthy society as a well maintained and skillfully run nuclear power plant.

And think of man's worst qualities as radioactive air and water, by products of the nuclear process.

Properly contained, the plant provides power and light and life.

Allow, through carelessness or recklessness or, worse, by design, critical mass and meltdown to occur....and disaster, destruction and death are injected into the mainstream.

Like poisons in the bloodstream.

A reactor malfunctions and radioactivity is released.

An essential body organ ruptures and toxins flood the bloodstream.

A bottle marked "Poison" falls and shatters........

Or, even worse, the cork in the bottle marked "Poison" is pulled out.....

It's way past time to get our minds right on exactly what is number one on the national "qualifications for keys to 1600 Pennsylvania" list. 

Number one on that list of Presidential qualities, virtues, traits and/or abilities.

The deceptively difficult skill required to keep the cork in the goddamn bottle.

Because we've already seen what happens when America elects someone who lacks that skill.

His only real skill being convincing enough people that, in fact, pulling that cork out is exactly just what the doctor ordered.....

...to make America great again..

Tippecanoe and Up Yours, Too....

National election time again.

Well, not technically, given that we're, at this writing, a year away from actual ballot casting, but in a culture that has you navigating the store aisles stacked high and cheap with Christmas decorations within a day or two of your closing down the pool for the year, it's only natural that presidential election campaigns eat up more than 1/4th of the actual time we elect people to actually do the job.

And, of course, as is tradition, with every shiny new national election comes the value added, free with every purchase glut of catchy slogans.

This time around, though, it occurs that if the snap, crackle and pop of this go-rounds collection of campaign mantras is any indication, the future is looking less like a sizzle and more like a snooze-fest.

And it's not that the bumper sticker bywords ultimately matter a hoot in hell compared to a particular candidate's stand on the economy, immigration, climate change, taxes and all the other issues that we satirically convince ourselves we have researched and pondered and come to enlightened decisions regarding.

Then again, judging from a lot of what's floating around out there in the social media mainstream, it's not incorrect to suggest that while polio, smallpox and yaws have been pretty much eradicated, dumb seems to be spreading like those wildfires in California that would go away if they just ratcheted up their forest floor sweeping schedule.

Oh...and that's "yaws" the rarely fatal, but highly disfiguring cousin of the syphilis bacteria.

Not that badly bootlegged, Swedish dubbed version of the killer shark film classic.

Personally, as a writer of some experience, and infamy, if not, accomplishment, it's my p.o.v. that you can tell a lot about a candidate for office by the catchphrase they contribute to the conversation.

For a couple of reasons.

First, you only get one chance to make a first impression.

And while rallies, town halls, chat room events, even deeply probing, insightful interviews by Rhodes Scholar level inquisitors like Joy Behar are fleeting moments on the time line.....

...bumper stickers are forever, baby.

And  a well thought out, appealing, even, dare we dream, simultaneously intelligent and witty slogan shows a potentially keen, even, dare we dream, simultaneously intelligent and witty mind on display.

Most slogan historians point to "I Like Ike" as the pinnacle of promotional savvy.

Me, I'm more of an "AuH20 in 64" kind of guy.

But I've oft been told I'm way too clever for my own good.

Campaign 2020, meanwhile, is, as mentioned earlier, not shaping up to be a massive wave of wit, whimsy and wherewithal when it comes to making the case in as few words as possible.

Joe Biden is letting us know that "Our Best Days Still Lie Ahead".

Which, frankly, sounds more like a pep talk for somebody suddenly rendered paraplegic than a reason to cast a Biden ballot.

Current, at this writing, full time candidate and, to hear Hillary tell it, part time Russian asset Tulsi Gabbard is pledging to "Lead With Love"

Could just be me, but I'm not particularly inspired to vote for anybody who has me finishing her slogan in my head with "it's the only thing / that there's just / too little of".

Bernie Sanders has mostly de-commissioned last time's "Feel The Bern" and opted for a more attention span challenged friendly "Not Me. Us."

Probably not a best choice, given that, depending on how the next year or so shakes out, accusations of criminal behavior-wise, Donald might be usurping that mantra to use frequently in the form of "Not Me. Never Me. In Fact, Anybody and Everybody Except Me".

And Tom Steyer, who you might know from people saying things like "who the hell is Tom Steyer?" is letting America know that "There's Nothing More Powerful Than The Unified Voice Of The American People".

Most certainly patriotic and powerful. But lacks the understanding that very few people are going to commit to putting three bumper stickers on their car.

Even my personal fave in the electoral fracas, Pete Buttigieg, is playing it pretty garden variety as he pledges "A Fresh Start For America".

Again, probably just me, but when I hear that, I'm not thinking innovative and inspiring national and global leadership as much as I'm hearing the voice of Jimmy Dean and trying to decide between links and patties.

Speaking of Donald, of course, there's the now combination iconic politically / classic comedically "Make America Great Again" which has been evilly ingeniously re-tooled into "Keep America Great".

Couple of thoughts.

First, "Make America Great Again" itself was a re-do, originally used by Ronald Reagan in 1980. Reagan was the Trump of the 1980's. A tax cutting for the rich, woefully inexperienced, essentially useless former celebrity. The key difference, of course, being that we all liked him because he was a nice guy and not a sociopathic narcissist.

Second, "Keep America Great" shows an irrefutable lack of creativity and/or imagination. In fact, it makes one suspect that the goal is to to keep the motto as simple as simple can possibly be, lending credence to the theory that Donald has always known that his success is based entirely on the support of people who are, themselves, as simple as simple can be.

Third......

....no, scratch that. That second one pretty much covers it.

The history of political slogans is a fascinating one and well worth the five minutes, or so, that it takes to Google up that history (start at Wiki / it's a very good place to start).

As you might imagine, they run the gamut from uncommon to unimpressive, odd to ordinary, well intended but poorly executed.

Something noteworthy in the list for not showing up very often in the list, though.

The real bare knuckle, low blow, kick 'em in the nuts, no ifs, ands or buts you might expect to find in a profession pretty much fueled on venom.

Oh, there were a few hit and run sloganeers along the timeline.

"Ma, Ma, Where's My Pa" was used by the James G. Blaine campaign in 1884 referring to the allegation that his opponent Grover Cleveland had fathered an illegitimate child. When Cleveland was elected, his supporters fired back "Gone To The White House, Ha, Ha, Ha".

Al Smith, in 1928, took advantage of the desire of voters to repeal Prohibition by sloganing, with a not so subtle wink, wink, nudge, nudge, "Make Your Wet Dreams Come True"

And in 1964, in answer to the Goldwater contribution, "In Your Heart, You Know He's Right", the campaign of Lyndon Johnson smacked back on Goldwater's pro-use of nuclear weapons stand with a snarky "In Your Guts, You Know He's Nuts".

Mostly, though, the campaign slogan scrapbook is filled with lofty and/or cliche' and/or predictable same ol', same ol.

Time for a change.

Lumped in among the wide array of bonus features included in the Trump Premium Package is what amounts to a free pass.

Anything goes. Sky's the limit. Gloves are off. No holds barred.

Formerly standard operating procedures like decorum, tact, courtesy, regard, subtlety, discretion, even garden variety politeness....they're all now not only passe', they're practically subject to ridicule. As in "speak respectfully to other candidates for the job I'm wanting? what kind of candy ass, snoflake, suck it up butter cup bullshit is that?"

And gracious acknowledgement of critique or criticism?

Fuck you, you featherweight pussy. Make America Great Again.

The problem with this attitude, of course, is that there is no end to the list of problems with this attitude.

First, if not foremost, being that no matter how supposedly "gutsy" or "tough guy" or "take no bullshit" the followers think, or have been led to believe, it is, at the hard rock bottom of it all, that's simply no way to run a civilization.

Of course, if you're one of those who got the "civilizations is for candy ass, sno flake butter cups" refrigerator magnet with your purchase of the red cap, you don't give that hard rock bottom a second thought.

Except, of course, when others insult you by complaining about the noise you're making scraping that hard rock bottom.

To which you always immediately and instinctively reply.....

"...fuck you, you featherweight pussy. Make America Great Again."

By the way, not to wander too far off the point path, but have you noticed how "Make America Great Again" has evolved, or, more accurately, mutated, into a kind of honorary hashtag at the end of most everything that the followers say?

It's a lot like that fun phrase William Shatner attached to just about everything he said during his stint as the mirthful mad cow lawyer on the TV series "Boston Legal".

"...Denny Crane."

The key difference there, of course, being that whatever preceded that verbal exclamation point was usually delightfully eccentric and/or affectionately satirical.

As opposed to ignorant, mean spirited and/or just flat fucking obnoxious.

Oh. Right. Sorry. I forgot.

Fuck me. Make America Great Again.

Meanwhile, back at the bumper stickers.

As much as I, and, I'm fairly sure, many others would like to see the next twelve months spent electing a president play out in a firm, but fair, powerful, but polite, strong, but civilized, intense, but tactful, dramatic, but diplomatic atmosphere, I'm prepared to make a killing by betting every dime I own and/or can get my hands on that this next twelve months will prove that the answer to the question "how low can you go?" is actually the same answer to the question "what's a number between, say, two and three?"

Infinity.

And beyond, baby.

Trump will see to that.

And if you're inclined to yank your, by now frayed and stained, red cap down with a little defiant jerk and unload on me with a whole mess of "Demo-rats" and "Sleepy Joe" and "Nervous Nancy" and all the other theoretically clever, but, truth be told, ultimately pathetic pencil dick attempts at a comeback defending your big, orange hero, let me just add.

Fuck you. Make America Great Again.

So, while those of us sitting in the civilized section would enjoy watching a well played game of, say, chess or tennis or even baseball, all games that are ultimately more about intelligence and strategy than they are brute strength, the unavoidable fact is that "Campaign 2020", again, bet all you can beg, borrow or steal, is going to pretty much look like the cheapest, tackiest WWE grudge match your imagination can conjure.

With business attire, as opposed to ill fitting, psychologically damaging Speedos, as the dress code.

And if, props to Doris Day, whatever will be, will be here, then let's go all in and do it right.

Enough with the same ol, same ol, plain ol, lofty, lame, lightweight, flimsy, feeble, half baked. cut rate catch phrases and let's PDF Donald's cheap shot, low blow, petty, pea brain playbook and get busy bumper stickerin' like a bitch.


Kamala Harris- It's Pronounced COMuhluh, You MAGA Morons.

Tulsi Gabbard- Russian Asset, My Ass.

Amy Klobuchar- Just Vote For Me And Stop Sounding Stupid Making Fun Of My Name

Bernie Sanders - Call Me A Socialist One More Time, Motherfucker.

Elizabeth Warren- Hey Donald, Read THIS Warren Report, Fat Boy.

Pete Buttigeig- Yes, I'm Gay. And You're An Idiot. Let's Work Together.

Joe Biden - At Least You Know Where MY Hands Have Been.


Starting to sound like we got something here, don't you think?

And not to worry.

For those who think their big, orange hero is going to be left out, we've got a killer campaign slogan for him, too.

One that, just like all these others, is in your face, up your ass, dividing and inciting and angering and stirring up hatred and bigotry and ignorance and brings out the very worst in us.

As Americans, as citizens, as voters, as neighbors, as friends.

As human beings.

Donald Trump- Make America Great Again.

Oh, wait.....

Make that.....

Fuck You. Make America Great Again.

It's worked like a charm so far.

It's Like Apples...And Orange Cult Worship...

For those unclear on, or even unaware of, the applicable historic contexts:

Any and all comparisons between the Trump impeachment process and the Watergate/Nixon impeachment process are pointless, if only for one irrefutable reason......

In 1974, the Congress of the United States was made up of men and women who, although passionate in their political philosophies, were, in the majority, honorable people who, when it was crunch time, put honor, integrity and country ahead of party and personal greed/gain.......

Men and women of that caliber are in the almost non-existent minority in 2019.

And only after you, and yours, and what matters to you personally have been sold out by them, will you finally realize that they had no goal or purpose, from the beginning, except to further their own personal agendas.......

It was, in 1974, the political party of the President, in fact, that made it clear to that president that he was in violation of his oath of office and was destined for impeachment and conviction......

There will be no such display of courage, honor or integrity this time around.

Humorously intended meme floating around:

Without authentic patriots, as well.

A Brief Commentary On The Perspective Of "That's It. Over. Done."

I write several commentary blogs and produce/host a couple of podcasts.

This particular blog, of course, is Politics In Plain English.

I'll give a concise example of what I mean in a moment.

First, today's ha-ha.





Being the Virgo meets Vulcan meets verbose guy I am, my commentaries, admittedly, have a tendency to get wordy a lot of the time.

When it comes to verbal expression, I'm kinda like the guy in that song.

"I got nothin to do / and all night to do it."

Sometimes, though, just a few words say all that need be said.

Hence, Politics In Plain English.

And here's a few words on Donald and his presence in our lives.

Do you still support this clown? Are you still planning on voting for him again?

Yeah, well, here's a thing.

He's done.

And although there are a thousand other reasons, here's the one that really tears it.

He's an idiot.

A moron.

The dumbest fucking sack of sorry shit to ever stumble bumble his way into a position of power in the history of the United States of America.

Do you think he's done a superior job with the "booming economy"?

Showed the world who's boss and not taken any shit from anybody?

Your kind of guy? Your kind of president.

We don't care.

Time's up.

He's an idiot.

A moron.

The dumbest fucking sack of sorry shit to ever stumble bumble his way into a position of power in the history of the United States of America.

Illiterate.

Uneducated.

Unsophisticated.

Stupid.

And it's not funny anymore.

It's ridiculous.

Unacceptable.

You want ultra conservative? You want fiscally stringent? You want cold and calculating? You even want compassionless, cruel, even downright nasty in the Oval Office?

Well, kid, we can discuss and debate and argue and piss and moan and bitch at each other about those qualities, or lack there of, for the rest of the days we are given on this Earth.

But, undeniably, outrageously, staggeringly, stunningly STUPID?

No more.

No way.

Time's up.

One way or another, this stupidity ends.

No later than November of next year.

End of discussion.

Oh.

One last thing.

There are tens of millions of us equally done with this chump.

And done with listening to anything you have to say about him.

Politics as usual? Maybe.

Politics in plain English?

Bet your ass.

No.

More.

Stupid.

He Has A Hose, An Axe And Some Game...Let's Not Let That "In Training" Badge Allow The House To Burn Down..."

I posted this recently.

Take a moment and click the "see more" to get the whole p.o.v.





After I posted, two friends offered their own p.o.v. in the always engaging comments section.

"....I'll give you he's intelligent and well spoken. But if he's the top of the ticket, who do you pair him with? That's why, at this time, I think the VEEP is a good fit for him...."

"...I love this guy and he would be a definite first choice but my concern is his lack of experience in the Washington waters. We already have that and it’s a mess, although this would still be a heckuva step up. Still, I’d prefer to see him in Congress first...."

My instinctive responses to those observations were far too detailed to graph in a Facebook box. 

Allow me to offer them in this forum.

Gentlemen.....

I understand and agree, at one level, with exactly what I'm hearing both of you essentially saying.

He's young, he's intelligent, he's got some game and any reasonable observer would nod in the affirmative that "da kid's got potential."

Conventional wisdom translation: Raw talent does time, pays dues and hones craft in the minors before being given a shot at playing in "the show."

Critically key phrase there...

Conventional wisdom.

Custom made, even comforting, in conventional times.

Strategically impractical, even flawed, in unconventional times.

Welcome to America 2019.

And the unconventional times splashed, scarred, tarred and feathered with the bigliest of American history anomalies.

Donald Trump.

Trump was elected for, essentially, two reasons.

He wasn't Hillary Clinton.

And to a significant number of people in a a certain number of states that resulted in a certain number of electoral votes, Trump represented the kind of "burn down the barn to get rid of them thar rats" mentality that allowed them the mental luxury of overlooking, even ignoring, his staggering lack of integrity, morality, ability, qualification and/or humanity.

Not to mention honesty.

Let alone intelligence.

The oft spoken, what would have once been unspoken, fact of the matter was that those voters, and those who continue to support him to this moment, simply turned a blind eye and deaf ear to character flaws that would have, as recently as the day before Trump announced he was running, derailed the candidacy of any other candidate from any other party before the primary season was a done deal. Let alone the nominating process.

Let alone, God forbid, the general election.

Turns out, God took a pass on that forbidding business in 2016.

And lest the more zealous of the zealots pounce on that with their "proves that Trump is the chosen one" moronic mumble, let me offer you what I said, on air, on my then weekly talk radio show in the aftermath of the election results.

"This had to happen", I said, then, "if only to prove to a sufficient number of people, that it can never, ever, ever be allowed to happen again."

I take credit for that insight.

I take no credit whatsoever for the implementation.

Personally, I think God is doing a little parenting. Sometimes children have to learn the hard way that something they want, or have convinced themselves they want,  is, simply, bad for them.

And that hard way sometimes takes the form of letting those children have what they want.

Be careful what you wish for and all that.

Or vote for, as the case may be.

Which brings us back to unconventional times.

And the misconception that, with the push of a voting booth button, one can turn back time.

Even Cher knows better than that.

Or, obviously, the lyric would have gone in another direction.

And "turning back time", as it applies to what we're talking about here, is returning to what our mental muscle memory tells us is the norm, the usual, the "way things are usually done" when it comes to deciding who we're going to support in what the networks are already dramatically dun dun dunning as "Decision 2020".

If you're one of those folks all about getting that decision made the way things are usually done, here's something you need to do first, for brevity sake, spoken in a very popular American dialect.

New Jersey blunt.

Fuggedaboutit.

What you knew as "the norm" is a big ol' negatory, good buddy. The "usual" now comes with a big fat UN on the front of it, like an impertinent pimple on prom night.

The way we do what we do when we do it in this country when it comes to electing a president may be a lot of things from here on out, but here's one thing it will never be....from here on out...ever again.

The way it used to be.

Because of the splashing, scarring, tarring and feathering done to that way by the aforementioned bigliest of American history anomalies.

Donald Trump.

And, bet the bank, you would get no argument from him.

Because if you think he's a world class pussy grabber, he simply has no peer on the planet when it comes to grabbing credit.

So, my fellow 'Muricans, when it comes to the tried and true, traditional path we have taken for two hundred and fifty-ish years when it comes to making that Decision......that road is closed.

Sorry, moose, along with donkey and elephant, out front shoulda told ya.

And...that...brings us to youth....and sexual identity.

And the reservations reasonable people have about Pete Buttigieg.

Youth.

Ordinarily, "youth" is a code word for "experience". It's in keeping with the traditional conventional wisdom that only with age comes experience and only with experience comes wisdom.

First of all, there's that obvious, but now obsolete, phrase "traditional, conventional wisdom". But, more importantly, that particular conventional "wisdom" has always been largely a myth. At least in terms of youth automatically disqualifying someone from respect for their skills and abilities.

History is full of names to prove the point.

Alexander the Great....conquered countries at 18.

Joan of Arc did some pretty heavy lifting at 17.

Mozart wrote his first symphony at 8.

Broadway star Alexander Hamilton acquired what was essentially the job of chief of staff to George Washington at 22.

And not a one of them had a smart phone or Twitter account to give them a leg up.

More contemporarily, Theodore Roosevelt. 

Governor of New York State at 41.

President of the United States at 43.

And, of course, John F. Kennedy.

Who, back in the days when Russia was a rightfully mistrusted adversary and not an honorary member of the Presidential cabinet, faced down the then Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev, preventing what historians agree could have very easily become global thermonuclear war.

Kennedy was 45, then. Elected at 43.

The other part of the "youth" argument, when it comes to Buttigieg.....

...as expressed by one of my friends in their comment.....

"my concern is his lack of experience in the Washington waters. We already have that and it’s a mess, although this would still be a heckuva step up. Still, I’d prefer to see him in Congress first....".

Point well made and point well taken.

Here's the thing, though. The "mess" we're in is, admittedly, partly the result of Trump's lack of governing experience. But a case can be made, and allow me to make it, that the larger part of that "mess" is the result of Trump's pathology.

 He listens to no one. He accepts advice and counsel from no one. He believes himself to be superior, infallible and incapable of being wrong about anything. 

Ever.

His amusing army of loyalists continue to scream bloody murder about what they consider the "folly" of impeachment, they are, to a man and woman, just not getting it.

That "impeachment", in this case, is just a code word.

For hospice.

For if narcissism were cancer, this patient would be easily diagnosed as Stage Four.

Buttigieg, from all indications, is a thinker. But he is, clearly, also, a listener. And my Spidey Sense is telling me that this young man has a key personality trait found in all historically successful leaders.

Moving confidently forward in the areas in which he feels knowledgeable and informed. While surrounding himself with knowledgeable, educated, informed, expert opinion and expanding his own, for lack of a better term, "wisdom level" by paying attention to what they have to offer.

Old saying.

One brain, one mouth. Two ears.

Pete's got the math down cold.

And the sexual identity?

The temptation here is to address that with a combination of eye rolling,  "talk to the hand" and  "really? after three and half years of history's most notorious vagina gripper?...." 

But let's skip the potshots and cheap shots and come at this one from the point of view I offered a few moments ago.

In 1960, the fear was that electing a Catholic president would surely be the end of days.

America elected a Catholic president and it wasn't the end of days.

In 2008, the fear was that electing a black president would surely be the end of days.

America elected a black president and it wasn't the end of days.

The good old days, maybe, but only in parts of the country where obsolete anachronisms like Lindsay Graham and Mitch McConnell are still actually seen as patriots.

America 2020.

Pete Buttigeig is a decorated military officer veteran, respected and accomplished mayor of a very much American Midwest city, the youngest ever elected, and re-elected, in that city since 1898, a Phi Beta Kappa, Rhodes Scholar, Harvard graduate, experienced in city governing and politics, speaks eight languages, in addition to English, a committed Christian, a political philosophy that can rightly, and fairly, be categorized as essentially common sense centrist.....and...

...is a happily married man. To another man.

One of the remarkable qualities of what is steadily becoming a phenomenal campaign is what we'll call the "unexpected" factor.

More and more mention is being made in print, online, in broadcasts, etc about the mayor's effect on those he addresses who have come to hear and see him for the first time, predictably, even understandably, with at least a few preconceived notions about him.

Not the least of which, of course, that he is happily married. To another man.

And more and more mention is made of how so, so many of those who walked in with those preconceived notions walk out, if not newly committed supporters, then certainly impressed with what they have seen and what they have heard.

Much like what he has to say in that conversation with Fallon.

Somehow, that kind of talent...and skill.....and positive energy has a way of making something like his sexual identity less and less of, if not a non, issue.

Something remarkable and historic happened in November 2016.

And that's not the good news.

Something remarkable and historic is happening almost four years later.

And given that "mess" that we're in, it's good news that couldn't come any sooner.

Too young?

That's a stereotype America can't afford to indulge anymore.

Inexperienced?

Show me five people who have been elected members of the Federal Government, most especially those who have been in office for ten years or more,  who are the better fit for the needs and responsibilities of the office of President of the United States as it exists right now...and I'll listen to your concerns about inexperience.

I'm confident that listening won't be necessary.

In an ideal world, the path to the presidency would include, even require, that anyone asking for the honor of serving in that office spend those days, months, years in the minor leagues.

America 2020 doesn't exist in an ideal world.

The process of making "America Great Again" smashed that ideal world with a hammer three years ago.

In one of writer Aaron Sorkin's episode scripts for "The West Wing", there's a scene where Sam Seaborn and Josh Lyman are walking a city street, talking about the pressing tasks requiring immediate attention.

Seaborn is pumped. Lyman the more measured of the two.

"It's impossible to do it all at once," Lyman offers, "we have to do one thing at a time.."

Seaborn replies with both a smile and a determined look.

"We don't have time to do things one at a time."

Neither do we, Sam.

Neither do we.