The hits just keep on comin'...
"...The FBI has sent a memo to law enforcement agencies across the country warning of possible armed protests at all 50 state Capitols starting Jan. 16, and also says an armed group has threatened to travel to Washington, D.C., the same day and stage an uprising if Congress removes Trump from office, according to a senior law enforcement official...."
There are, theoretically, tens, even dozens of questions that one might have when reading something like this in their daily news feed. Especially since it's not the kind of thing one usually finds in their daily news feed.
Or at least didn't, usually, find in their daily news feed.
Until a wacky, fun filled chunk of "the American people" decided that America wasn't to their particular liking four years or so ago and that it was ding damn time to make it "great again".
Frankly, meanwhile, when it comes to said "questions", I'm of the opinion that there's really only one that matters..
And I already know the answer(s) to that one.
First, the question. Complete with a little sprinkling of reverential Deity.
"For the love of God...why?"
Why is this one "armed group", and/or its particular "splinter" groups locking and loading and organizing and scheduling to show up all locked and loaded and gnarly and snarly on a Saturday that could be filled with so many other, much more pleasant and, (Deity Alert) God knows, more productive pursuits?
Well, first, let's see if we can whistle up some support for these stouthearted men and their stand by their men women by way of showing we understand where they're coming from. And why they are armin' on up...and headin' on out to a state capitol near you.
Alien invasion? (And, at least, for the moment, we're talking ethnic humans coming across one border or another in one hoard or another and not any other-world being that might get welcomed to Earth with a punch in the face by Will Smith or be told, by Sigourney Weaver, with no mistaking of her mood in the matter, to "get away from her...you bitch!")....
....uh, nope. Nothing online, on the wire, on the flatscreen, on the QT, the downlow or even the rumor mill about any impending swarm of "bad hombres". Which, come to think of it, is kinda surprising, what with the wall not being finished and all. And that massive invasion a sure thing, bet your ass, here they come to pillage and rape and kill our great country scheduled for....what was it?...oh, right.....about four years ago. Besides, if El Mucho Mal Hombre Swarmos are already lined up to hit all fifty states at once, we got bigger problems than some bunch of pistol packin' patriots whippin' out the ol' AK's to make up for the ol' E.D. (if ya know what we mean, wink, wink...)
Covid?
...well, it would be a wonderful thing if some rootin' tootin' shootin could take out that annoying little virus that has put (at this writing) 375,000 Americans in their graves...and turns out the pesky little plague don't just kill Democrats, damn the luck. Of course, if Corona could have been ended by a bunch of half cocked who get off on being fully cocked, pretty sure them and their stable genius woulda blown that viral bitch away months ago....hell, who knows....even, say, 374,000 Americans, or so, ago...but, well...no.
Oh, wait, hang on. Here ya go. Armed group gonna get the rest of us our guns back...you know, cause we have all been living our lives in fear and trembling, being all defenseless and shit, since Obama and his Federal Every Weapon Anybody Owns Cough It Up and Turn It Over Confiscation Program came rolling into our neighborhoods in the middle of that terrible night....when was that again?....September 2015, memory serves....no, wait, I remember. It was never. Yeah, pretty sure. Never.
Of course, there is that "they stole the election" silliness that some morons came up with after seven million more people decided they wanted Donald to go back to hosting Celebrity Apprentice and give Joe a crack at making America greater than great. Again. Or, you know, just great.
...but even the dumbest of the "shoot first and use the words "you're" and "your" correctly" club know that "fixing" an election of that magnitude would be impossible in this day and age of checks and balances and counter checks and counter balances.....and that only the really dumbest among us would ever fall for that "they fixed it and stole it and we need to go shoot somebody to express our displeasure with the outcome that lies in contrast to our original expectations." Only fools and dumb asses would show their foolishness and dumb ass-ness for a single second with that malarkey. Well, them and any sociopathic narcissist hanging around in hysterical fear that presidential immunity was about to expire and anywhere from two to five states want to lock them up on tax fraud charges for the rest of their natural life. You know, just fools and dumb asses and narcissists. Not any of these fine patriots gathering together to proudly display the red, white and blue. And sing a chorus or two of God Bless America. And hugs, you know, lots of hugs and high fives. All masked up, of course....but, still...
Ah, but let's not forget that "angry and frustrated" thing. We hear that one a lot. How the middle class and working class are tired of being (apologies to Dr. King) "trampled on by the iron feet of oppression". That there needs to be a more equitable economy. Put simply, for the simpler amongst us, the rich need to stop being so rich that the middle, working and poorer classes have to scrounge for the scraps.
Well, that seems like something that would, certainly, inspire revolution. Has been known, historically, to do exactly that.
Just one thing,here. though. If that was the reason for this fifty state thing, wouldn't these "make the nation a fairer place" full magazine merry makers be set to show up on the doorsteps of the major corporations...or the front doors of the blood sucking, bottom feeding corporate CEO's. Or even the White House? Where the current (soon to be evicted) occupant has likely made a couple million more bucks off that gig in the time it took you to read this sentence?
Nope. It's a poser. A perplexer. A veritable what the fuck?
Armed groups getting ready to gather in all fifty state capitols.
To wit, we re-ask. For the love of God, why?
Turns out, the answer is basic. Simple. Even, one might proffer...primal.
Same reason Grandaddy used to joke about when he'd ask us why a dog licks its own balls.
Because they can.
Because freedom to assemble...and freedom of speech...and freedom of expression...and even freedom to carry are all part of that wacky piece of parchment that just wraps around the lot of us like a big ol' blanket on a cold winter's night.
The Constitution.
But while that's an answer to a question, .."why can they?"...
...it's not the answer to the question.
..."why are they?"
And that's the simplest answer of all.
Because they think it makes them look heroic. Because they think it makes them better citizens, better patriots, hell, just better Americans than anyone who isn't strappin' on and showin' up and, with any kind of luck, gettin the chance to put a bullet in a window....or wall...or, dare they dream, a Democrat.
Because this gives them the opportunity to vent their hatred of other colors and other creeds and other genders and, well, hell, any other "them" that they decide they hate. At a time, for the time being, where their bigoted bullshit is not only 'acceptable' to "leadership", it's likely to get them Presidential Medals of Freedom (limited time, offer expires January 20th)
Because they're not all that bright and don't have the full faculties critical to understanding that what they are doing is going to have exactly the opposite effect of what it is they say they are trying to do.
Make this a freer, better...greater country.
When, in fact, first, that won't happen. Because that's never worked before. In any country. But, simple truth is, they don't really give a fuck about that happening, or not, anyway.
It's just another chance to shoot off their mouths and shoot off their rightly beared arms. The kind of chance that didn't come along all that often until four or so years ago. But has come along in spades now, baby.
Get while the gettin' is good. Shoot while the shootin' is smiled upon. Crash, trash, break, take, hurt, harm, denigrate, destroy, level, loot and, with any kinda luck, empty as many magazines as time permits.
Before the clock strikes noon. Four days later.
And the oath is taken. And the inaugural address is given.
And the work of rebuilding a nation torn asunder begins. First and foremost on that list...
Putting the pretend patriots back under the rock. That the orange guy had somebody lift up for them four years ago.
Before he crawls back under his own.
