Sunday, March 20, 2016

"...Doctor, It Hurts When I Vote This Way...Well......."

Step right up and git yer' campaign slogan here!

We got yer "Make America Great Again."

We got yer "Fighting For Us".

We got yer "Feel The Bern".

Wait. Hold the phone.

And stop the presses.

I've got a brand new campaign slogan of my own.

"Mommy, Make It Stop."

70's sitcom star Scott Baio has publicly endorsed Donald Trump for President.

First, let's get straight to it and get all the ba-dum-bumps out of the way.

"Chachi Loves Donald".

"Charles Wants Trump In Charge".

That's about it, right?

I mean, the guy has done other things in his life besides two sitcoms but in the great big scheme of things of which the average Joe, Jane and/or Kimye might be aware, that pretty much covers it.

Okay.

Now.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, we are free to speak our minds, land of the free, home of the brave....

Here's a couple of comments about Mr. Baio's endorsement, pulled at random from the predictably numerous comments about Mr. Baio's offered up on the ol' social media.

Hollywood conservatives support trump the chump. Does ANYONE really give a flying fuck what they think? I know I don't. Most of theze folks are actors or actresses (so-called celebrities) R entitled 2 their opinion, but who R theze folks that actually listen to them? JeTHus creeping shit we have some mighty dumb, naive, downright ignorant (& apparently proud of it) folks in this country. Bet most of them vote republican too. I DO exercise my right 2 free speech but also MUST start utilizing my "right" 2 remain silent, as in SHUT the FUCK up. With this off my manly hairless chest, I conclude with...that's all I got at this "moment" in time...just trying to keep in real compared 2 what yall...


meanwhile....on the other side of the short campaign bus...


thank you Scott Baio!!! There are many more like him out there...We need You NOW to Speak Out...This may be your Greatest Part EVER...Many Celebrities work for the UN and go to other Countries and Speak Out about the Injustices that happen in those Nations...Why not Speak Up for America...and decry the Injustices that are being Perpetrated on your own American People...by the Politicians...and Greedy Criminal Corporate Cartels who operate under the Color of Law...yet daily Deceive and Rob the unwary or powerless? "To whom much is Given...Much is Required" Use your Status to 'Make America Great Again!' The American People will remember who Stood Up in our Hour of Great Need...Even as We Remember those who were Traitors...such as Jane Fonda...and many others of her ilk! Do the RIGHT Thing...and America will Honour you at the Box Office!!!


 You know, you can have your "in space, no one can hear you scream"s and your "be afraid, very afraid"s.

For sheer terror in this day and age, I'm convinced that there is nothing more frightening than hearing the phrase...

"..the people have spoken."

And while it's a safe bet on my part that you're probably betting that I'm going to chime in on the matter of celebrity endorsements and whether or not they matter a hill of beans in this crazy world, I'm not going to make that bet.

And you shouldn't make that bet, either.

Because I'm not going to chime in on the matter of celebrity endorsements and whether or not they matter a hill of beans in this crazy world.

(They don't, by the way).

No, here's just a simple observation on one of the bedrock (or blockhead, depending on your own SAT scores) principles expressed by one of those most eloquent average Americans whose point of view we all just enjoyed.

"....Why not Speak Up for America...and decry the Injustices that are being Perpetrated on your own American People...by the Politicians....."

Actually, nothing new here. Some tried and true traditional verbs and nouns from the Book Of Americanisms.

"Speak up"...."injustice"....."American people".

I'm especially delighted to see the words "decry" and "perpetrated", though.

You just don't see much of a depth of vocabulary in flag waving fanaticism anymore.

Oh...and let's not forget that most hallowed of harpings, the three word freedom soaked phrase that pays.

"...by the politicians".

We'll get back to that in a minute.

 While we're at it, though, a few highlighted words from the articulate Mr. Baio.

"...He speaks like I speak, he communicates with people very well. I want him, as any one person can do, to go into Washington and blow it up..."

Now I don't know Scott Baio, have never met Scott Baio and he's not even a Facebook friend of mine.

Hey, there's only so many times you can remove the friend request and re-click the friend request and be ignored before you start to get the feeling that it's just not gonna happen, you know what I mean?

But, without knowing any of the behind closed doors secrets that might lurk in Mr. Baio's personality, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and offer that I'm thinking when he talks about wanting to "go to Washington and blow it up", he's speaking metaphorically and not literally.

And for those Trump supporters who show up just hoping for somebody to sucker punch, "metaphorically" means "a figure of speech describing something that's not really gonna happen"

Oh and "literally" means it really is gonna happen.

Thing is though, that both Mr. Baio and our other outstanding orator there have touched on a topic that has been like an American bald eagle bone stuck in my throat for the longest of times now and never more so than as this year's collection of cranks gets even more cranked up than usual when it comes to rearranging the deck chairs on the good ship District of Columbia.

Those oft heard, oft repeated, oft posted and cheered catchphrases like....

"...injustices perpetrated on the American people by the politicians..."

"...go to Washington and blow it up..."

And, of course, the Holy Grail of anti-government hyperbole....

"...throw the bums out.."

In the simplest terms I can offer (because I really want to make every effort to be clearly understood, especially by those Trump supporters who show up just hoping for somebody to sucker punch), here's the thing.

Washington D.C.is not an alien spaceship that suddenly appeared one day out of the clouds in that really cool special effects way the ships in "Independence Day" appeared.

And the politicians are not aliens from that spaceship who are ready to exterminate us.

Washington, D.C. is a city in the United States that was founded by Americans just like you and me.

And the politicians, those "bums" who are perpetrating injustices on we, the people and who we want to throw out or blow up.....where did they come from?

They came from you.

You put them there.

Sometimes more than once.

Check it out.



Old saying.

People hate Congress.

But they love their Congressmen.

Are ya startin' to see the problem here?

Oh, right.

It's not your Congressman that's perpetrating the injustices.

It's mine.

Gotcha.

Tell you what.

I've got a feelin' that you're just as tired of all this bickering "you, no, you, no, you, no, you" as I am.

So what say we finally wise up, team up, work together and put the blame where we both know it totally belongs?

Huh? Yeah? Are you with me?

You are?

Excellent.

Let's go take care of that guy who's causing us all this misery.

Scott Baio.







1 comment:

  1. Didn't you tell us Baio quit the Republican party--presumably for not being properly adoring to Trunp?

    ReplyDelete