You're not alone.
The "what" in "what's missing" in a few minutes.
Latest Republican debate last night.
The campaign-long truce between Donald Trump and Texas Senator Ted Cruz ended last night (January 14th) as the gloves came off between them on the Republican debate stage in North Charleston, South Carolina, where seven candidates faced off in the Fox Business Network-hosted event. The two sparred over Trump's questions about Cruz's eligibility to be president because of his birth in Canada, and over Cruz's questioning of Trump's conservative credentials by suggesting he has, quote, "New York values." Cruz said Trump is bringing up questions about his presidential eligibility because he's catching up to Trump in the polls, while Trump said he's just concerned because Democrats will sue over the issue. And when Cruz joked about Trump's "New York values," Trump responded emotionally by talking about how New Yorkers responded after the 9/11 attacks. They weren't the only ones battling, as Florida Senator Marco Rubio also exchanged attacks with Cruz and New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. And they and the other candidates -- Jeb Bush, Ben Carson and Ohio Governor John Kasich -- all warned about allowing a Democrat to succeed President Obama, who also came in for some harsh attacks along with Hillary Clinton.
I suppose, in the category of small favors, we should be grateful that Cruz attempted the smackdown on the Donald by saying New York "values" as opposed to New York "state of mind" or we'd be facing days ahead full of memes and/or mashups co-starring, and copyright violating, the music and lyrics of Billy Joel.
That said, as usual, whatever other paths the various candidates chose to try and get to their respective points, the high road was left fairly neat and tidy what with its lack of use.
Meanwhile... at the kid's table debate...
Carly Fiorina was demoted to the "undercard" Republican debate last night (January 14th) because she didn't poll high enough to qualify for the main stage. But she still wanted to make an impression, so she came out swinging against Democratic frontrunner Hillary Clinton in her opening statement with a remark that some believe may have gone too far. Fiorina stated: "Unlike another woman in this race, I actually love spending time with my husband." During an appearance on MSNBC after the debate, Fiorina refused to directly answer when Chris Matthews asked her repeatedly if she believes that the Clintons have a real marriage, answering each time: "They have been married for a long time."
No one over the age of, say, twenty, who has ever paid any attention at all to political campaigns in this country is unaccustomed to low blows and cheap shots being considered standard operating procedure.
Sure, it's arguably unfortunate that these wannabe office holders can't neener neener each other on a higher moral playground, but, once again, it's practically un-American to take the high road to get to high office.
In this country, it inevitably turns out that you can't get there from there.
That said, just as it is with much of what's offered us on television and in films these days, the caliber and quality of the assorted low blows and cheap shots seems to be on the wane.
I love a good zinger as much as the next guy.
Not a big fan of the ba-dum-bump.
Carly's shade throw is light on rhetoric and large on rimshot.
Meanwhile...from the "Carly practically comes off like Eleanor Roosevelt compared to" category...
A singing group of young girls called the USA Freedom Kids performed before the start of a Donald Trump rally in Pensacola, Florida, on Wednesday evening (January 13th), singing a song in honor of the presidential frontrunner along with the National Anthem. The original song, written by the father of one of the girls who manages the group, is called "The President Donald Trump Song," and has lines like: "Cowardice, are you serious? Apologies for freedom, I can't handle this! When freedom rings, answer the call!" and "President Donald Trump knows how to make America great. Deal from strength or get crushed every time." The girls performed it in red, white and blue dressed before some 15,000 people who turned out to see Trump.
First, as a songwriter of some accomplishment, a commercial composer and lyricist of some accomplishment and an unapologetic satirist and humorist, I've got no problem at all with a good humorous satire. Especially in the atmosphere of a red blooded, knock down, drag out, bitch slappin' campaign for the highest office in the land.
The key phrase there, of course, being "good humorous satire".
This one?
Not so much.
And given the quality control involved in this little production, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and offer that the "father/manager/composer" probably didn't do any due diligence whatsoever to deliver props to a certain Mr. George M. Cohan.
Look him up on the Google or the Wiki, kids.
And, then, if you're a copyright attorney, feel free to kick me whatever finder's fee you think fair for the referral.
Meanwhile...
As the sun sets and the dust settles on yet another week of the process employed in choosing our leaders that continues to fill other nations with envy and late night comedy writers with gratitude, it's as clear as it have ever been in our long, proud history that this particular campaign deserves so much more than to be referred to as, simply, a campaign.
And is, in fact, worthy of a much more colorful, and spot on appropriate, designation.
It's a circus, baby.
Again, though, there is that nagging sense that something is missing.
You feel it, too?
Oh.
Wait.
Here's what's missing.
The peanuts.
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