Sunday, February 2, 2014

"...O'Reilly Can Be A Riot....Maher's More Likely To Incite One..."

Old joke.

The definition of mixed feelings is watching your ex-wife drive off a cliff.

In your brand new Lexus.

New joke.

The definition of mixed feelings is tuning in to watch Bill O'Reilly.

And enjoying every minute of it.

While, at all times, remaining fisted up and wishing for an opportunity to punch him into next week.

I've written, more than once, on the infuriating, yet charming, almost charismatic, way that he, in my view, combines the very, seemingly worlds apart skills of self deprecation and self righteousness.

A guy who seems to be able to laugh at himself while, in the same breath, totally dismissing anything anyone has to say if that something said moves the needle a micrometer from the line that represents the gospel according to Bill.

And, just like those folks who are convinced from watching and playing along at home, that they could kill on Jeopardy if they only had the chance to get up there, I've always felt like I could go toe to toe and play point for point with the O'Meister if'n I only had the opportunity.

Because when I counter his wit and/or thrust and/or parry and/or bullshit playing the home game, the conversation is, almost always, a push.

Save for those occasions, of course, when I kick his ass.

This collection of essays tends to rag more on Bill and Bill's colleagues (I was going to say peers, but Bill would, I'm sure, be hair trigger ready to fire off that he is without peer) and their particular cable network more than it does any other political target.

And, those who think that it's time to replace the eagle with the Fox as the symbol of truth, justice and the American way, most likely dismiss me as another one of them bleeding heart, do gooding, tax and spend liberals.

Or, in the eloquent prose of the articulate and, seriously, kids, much respected Charlie Daniels, they think I'm a.....

"long haired hippie type, pinko fag" and they "bet I've even got a Commie flag, tacked up on the wall inside of my garage"

But, I'm not.

And I really don't.

Although I will concede I do have a garage.

No flags.

Got a pretty nice riding lawn mower, though.

Built right here in America, thank you very much.

And if my sardonicism tends to slant, more often, in the direction of those for whom the Fox is more sacred than the buffalo or the eagle or, hell, even the Fozzie Bear, it's only because they tend to make themselves the biggest targets, what with the twenty four seven broadcast display of rolling eyes and disgruntled grunts and snarky asides and smirking smiles that seem to be a pre-requisite for having a camera go red light on you there on the fair and balanced network.

Make no mistake, though.

There's plenty of hot air balloon popping to be done on both sides of the aisle and plenty of diss to be dispensed in both dogmatic directions.

It just seems, though, that the more left leaning folks, CNN, MSNBC, HLN, among others, have, I think it fair and balanced to say, a less snotty way of blowing their bugles.

Self promoting, fully salivated spit valves notwithstanding.

Again, though, make no mistake.

There is no shortage of "my father of our country is smarter than your father of our country" being shoveled out from their side of the street.

But "we're smarter than you are" never seems to smart as much as "we're holier than you".

Or thou, as the case-eth may be.

Meanwhile, HBO has its own contributor to the spit take sweepstakes.



Stand-up comic and Real Time with Bill Maher host Bill Maher really killed on Friday night with the penultimate joke in his “New Rules” segment.

In an episode that featured an otherwise listless audience, the crowd roared with laughter when Maher joked that since the Grammy Awards featured the liberal dream of a mass gay wedding, conservatives should even things out with a mass shooting.

“Now that liberals have forwarded their agenda by inserting a mass gay wedding into the Grammys,” Maher said, “conservatives must match them tit-for-tat by having a mass shooting at the Country Music Awards.”


Okay.

Fair is fair.

Balanced we'll leave for another time.

When it comes to vile, venom and vitriol and the spewing of same, a spew that I have done my fair share of skewering when it has come from the caustic conservative kissers on the faces of the Fox, there is no denying or defending that Bill Maher is, more than every now and then and, certainly, in this case, way more than just one toke over the line.

Sweet Jesus.

I bet your Nielsen ratings in Aurora and Newtown are about to take a crapper cruise, there, Billy.

In 1964, Supreme Court justice Potter Stewart spoke a line that has become intellectually iconic.

".....I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced [as"hard-core pornography"]; and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it. "

Bill O'Reilly does a feature on his program he calls "Pinheads and Patriots".

Has to do with singling out an individual and/or their action and assigning them one of those labels or the other based on whatever criteria O'Reilly deigns valid in assigning them one of those labels of the other.

I've created, for today's writings, a little spinoff on that idea.

I call it "Pornography and Putzes"

Props to Potter for the possibilities.

And I quote....(me)

".....I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of commentators I understand to be defined as putzes and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know one when I see one. "

Or hear one.

Bill O'Reilly, for my entertainment and/or edification dollar can be both pinhead.

And patriot.

Bill Maher, on the other hand, has a more singular specialty.

He's a putz.





No comments:

Post a Comment